The skin of my teeth, would be the answer lately. The ideas have not been flowing, and I’ve been feeling pretty blocked.
I’ve been fairly busy over the summer, doing as much as I can before uni starts again. Competitions, blogs, anthologies, anything. But pretty much everything I’ve been working on has been for something. I’ve had so much fun, but on the way I forgot to do something quite important.
I’ve stopped writing for me.
It took a while before I noticed it, because I was so preoccupied with getting one more story done before the deadline. I love the challenge of creating to a brief, in fact without a theme I could feel stranded on what to write. But outside of competitions and the occasional half-hearted pick at The Novel, I wasn’t writing. I’d forgotten how to create something selfishly.
Writers always need to be creating something, working on something. Always be busy, being productive. And if you’re not careful, that obsession with productivity can overtake your writing until you can’t write without thinking of the reward. Maybe it’ll get published somewhere. Or it’ll add towards your word count tracker. Or you can post it online (ahem). The very first blog post I made on here touched on this subject and it’s something I’m often guilty of. Saying that I collect PlayStation trophies probably tells you everything you need to know about me (and then some).
So I’m learning to be selfish. I’m learning to write uselessly again. To make something purely for the hell of it.
Out came the notebook and some funky coloured pens. I wrote about a woman painting the walls with blood and a brief retelling of “Pandora’s Cage”. Then I had a go at what I’m now calling rainbow writing. Each line is a different colour, and you just write what shows up in your head, whether it’s colour-related or not. You end up with a very Instagram-worthy page of gibberish and it’s intensely satisfying when you only write in black.
Then out came the egg-timer. Three minutes to write a page, be imaginative! Write about anything you want –
I wrote about the egg timer.
But once I started, ideas kept coming. For the next three minutes, I ranted about something that annoyed me. Then a Facebook message inspired a line of dialogue (“Maybe he’s taking a Wally nap”). And even when I scrolled mindlessly through my newsfeed, I found a comment that inspired a story about clowns and a beautiful The Last of Us poster that got things flowing. Turns out I had plenty of ideas, but I’d been in the wrong mindset to receive them.
It’s still hard to shut off the little voice that demands to know the point of what’s being written and whether it’ll help my writing score.
To which the answer is no. It’s not for anyone but me. Whoever heard of a writing video game?
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Update time!
Things have been going pretty well lately! Firstly I have two stories to be published in The Heroes Among Us, the third anthology to be released by the Big Care Write-Up. It’s due to be released on 29th October and will be raising money for LOROS. Keep an eye on their Facebook page and help spread the word. The ebook’s editor Dale Anthony Church is taking on a 4 stories in 4 weeks challenge on there too, so wish him the best of luck!
Black Pear Press held a short story competition, and my story Bare Bones was shortlisted! It’s about a girl who liberates a skeleton from a science lab (something I’ve secretly always wanted to do) and will be published in their anthology at a later date.
And I’m super excited that I’ve also been shortlisted for the HG Wells Short Story Competition! The Sky is Black and Endless was frantically edited whilst on holiday in Wales (remember that three-hour stint that triggered my cubital tunnel? Yup) and sent off on my phone using mobile data. It’s a literary-ish tale of a girl who lives in a house in space and will be included in their anthology (winner to be announced in November).
You may also have seen that I released a new YouTube video! How To Make a Novel, in the style of those chirpy arty-crafty videos that are all the Facebook rage these days. Except this is possibly less useful than a cat hammock. Might give the writerly folk a smile. (This is what happens when I get the house to myself. Throw things in a bowl – and ironically have your hand in a brace after carting Encarta dictionaries around the house.)
I’m back at uni next week so things are likely to get busier (plus I have driving, job hunting and personal commitments to keep up with!) but the blog will stay updated with stuff. And expect some novel-y posts fairly soon (could be Rewriter’s Block, or a new project. I’m undecided for my dissertation).